Marriage Part II

Apr. 2, 2008 Posted in Comments

What do you need to know about your spouse before you marry them or commit a boo boo?

Or

What the heck are you marrying this person for?

Is your spouse of the proper sex? Yes, there used be two but there are more than two today. In other words, male, female, female desiring to be a male, and male desiring to be a female.

Could you care less if you have sex with your spouse? If that is the case something is wrong. if you are not excited about having sex with your spouse or maybe you don't like sex!

Whose paying for what in this marriage? Who pays what bill, all bills, any bills. How does one make a bill that is agreeable to both of you.

What happens to the remaining money after the bills are paid? Hint who gets to spend it or save it.

Which one of you is going to be earning a paycheck? If the answer is neither look elsewhere. If only one of you is making a paycheck. Then the dictator has been selected. Are you happy? If yes good, if no negotiate before marriage. If both then decide what to do with surplus money. Expenses always deem to rise to meet income. Try to live off of the biggest paycheck banking the other one for the future. It also means you have a cushion for when only one of you is working. Don't spend money you don't have to spend!

Where are you going to live babe? Apartment, house, condominium, rent, lease, or buy. Whose furniture what is going to be kept. What happens to keepsakes?

Do you expect to change your spouse? Please don't because then the spouse won't be the person you married. The real reason is that spousal change seldom happens no matter how hard you try.

Do you think there will be no arguments? You are starry eyed. You are going to fight like cats and dogs. Can you give as well as take? You better be able to as well as your spouse.

Does this spouse of yours know how to press your buttons? No, I am not talking about nipples. The spouse knows how to make you happy, cry, laugh, orgasm and comfort you. This is a key item.

Do you fear or are afraid of your spouse? Yes, run don't walk to the exit!

Is your spouse someone like you? Yes, walk to the nearest exit. Self-love leaves little room for someone else.

Children? When, how many, who takes care of them, can you afford kids, do you want kids? Don't jump the boat with the belief that kids will fix, improve or secure love between you and your spouse. Pets are cheaper than kids and have fewer legal problems.

Does your spouse love your mother? It would be unusual if they do. Since they are not related. Relationships can be built but not ordered. Your spouse does not have to love your mother in order to please you.

Who is in charge? The last one standing assuming that there were survivors. Someone can be bossy. Someone hates to be in charge. I just want to know that you will take care of it. It is my way or the highway. Make the adjustment up front or don't get married. The spouse does not always have to be in charge but no one likes surprises.

Are you easy to buy a gift for? If not why are getting married. Your spouse is not a mind reader. They give you what they want you have. Most often they don't mind being told what you like or don't like. No one likes to be ordered to buy a gift. Even Jesus Christ doesn't get gifts on his birthday!

Can you get along with your spouse's habits? The odds are poor that you can break the habit. You did not sign up to be a mother or father to your spouse.

Can you live with the opposite sex spouse? Now, would you live with your spouse? Are you aware that your spouse is tamper proof? Hopefully it is a difference you love, and brings hilarity to your life as well as joy. We all don't have to be the same.

There is no how-to manual for marriage? You are expected to be able to talk (discuss) not sarcastically
cut your spouse. Then you must listen as well as look. You won't get 100% of what you want since you didn't create the universe. Find out if you can negotiate before you get married. You and your spouse are expected to create the how-to manual for marriage.

Can you stand pain? Accidents happen because we are not masters of the universe or of ourselves. If it happens while you were behind the wheel – you're responsible. Ask for forgiveness you might be surprise at how sweet it is. If your spouse is behind the wheel forgive! We are not talking about cars or abuse here.

A marriage can not extend to three adults? True, only husband and wife no third parties allowed. Don't let someone else test drive your marriage off the road.

Children? They are evil, will break your heart, destroy your treasured keepsakes, never know who did anything, there is a creature named “I don't know.” Example: "Who knocked the plate of the dining table?" "I don't know. " The kid is your only child and the only one in the room. So you still want one! Children are not your gods to be worshiped. Spouses need to establish the ground rules and priorities.

Wedded bliss? It will never happen! Y ou can establish happiness, a joy, and a love of many colors but damn it is hard work!

Spend more time on what you understand versus what you don't and what must be done now versus later. Get promises from your spouse upfront preferably in writing, sealed with a kiss, bearing signature of spouse with a date certain, stating the asset exchange and renumeration plus interest and your basis. If not, kick em to the curb.

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